Flag on the Play, A guide to using football penalties in the dating world

Are you ready for some football? This past weekend kicked off the
official start to college football. Tonight is the season opener for the NFL season. That is why I feel tonight’s entry is so appropriate.

I had the privilege
of attending the first ODU football game of this season on Saturday
night. I am a season ticket holder and am excited about this final
season in the CAA and the upcoming seasons into Conference USA. During
halftime on Saturday’s game between ODU and Duquense, I had a sort of
epiphany. What if you could borrow the same penalty system used in
college football for your experience in the dating world?

If you know me, or have read this blog at all before, you know I love
to relate alot of real life scenarios to sports. Terms such as: delay
of game, encroachment, false start, and even offsides with their
corresponding penalties could be very useful for single people.

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False Start

First Down
For example: In football, a first down is given when the offensive
team is able to move the ball a specified number of yards. They have 4
tries to move the ball the 10 yards. Every ten yards they earn gets
them a first down. Dating interpretation: Let’s say you are
meeting someone for the first time. You begin talking with them and it seems to be going
well. At a certain point in the conversation, you are ready to advance
on. This would be where they would earn the FIRST DOWN. This is a good
call to receive:)

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First Down

Encroachment or Holding
The conversation could take a turn in the other direction where things
start to feel uncomfortable. This would be where the peruser has
moved in too close. They are in your space without getting the ok. It
is now time to throw the flag. The penalty would result in you
changing your location or leaving the establishment all together. In
football, they have the call of ENCROACHMENT. Before the snap, the
defensive player has crossed the line of scrimmage and made contact
with the opponent. This would result in a five yard penalty. A more
common call is HOLDING. This is illegal grasping or pulling on the
opponent, the result is a 10 yard penalty. Please no touching, one
will let you know if and when holding is allowed. The possible penalty
could result in game over!

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Holding

Delay of Game
Also, let’s not forget the ever frustrating DELAY OF GAME. In
football, this is where any action is used to deliberately stop the
next play from occurring. It could be the offense not snapping the
ball before the play clock reaches zero. Penalty results in 5 yards.
Dating interpretation could be any of the following: not calling after
the initial date, not having set plans, not returning messages.
Penalty in this case could result in no second date or call back.

Substitution
After the previous call of Delay of game, one may come to find out the
reasoning was a substitution. In football, if a team has 12 or more
players in the huddle for 3-5 seconds, or 12 players on the field
before the the ball is snapped. Penalty, 5 yards. In dating, a
SUBSTITUTION could be detrimental to your game, especially an illegal
one. Without your knowledge, you may have been removed from the play
altogether. This could explain the previous delay of game and the
penalty for you is you are out completely.

Time Out
Due the circumstances from the above play, one may be forced to take a
TIME OUT. In football, each team is permitted 3 time outs per half. Dating interpretation:
You may need a time out from your current partner or one may need a
time out from dating indefinitely. In the dating world, time outs are
unlimited. If you find yourself taking too many time outs on one
dating experience, it may be best to call the game.

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Time Out

Touchdown
In the event things go well the sign on the field you are looking for
is a TOUCHDOWN! In football, this results in 6 points on the board.
You have managed to forgo too many penalties and were able to
successfully drive down the field. Congratulations! This should result
in an exchange of the digits, a second date, or a goodnight kiss. If
either of those go well, you may get the opportunity to go for the
extra point!

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Touchdown
Have fun out there all you single people, and remember these penalties
next time you begin a new game. Be sure to only be receiving first
downs and touchdowns. Steer clear from anyone earning penalties and
definitely make sure you aren’t the one guilty of HOLDING, DELAY OF
GAME, or ILLEGAL SUBSTITUTION !

Happy Punting
Jess

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